firstly, i am a huge fan, and i don't think i could live without you. but we need to talk - see you and i, we have some issues.
do you enjoy messing with our perceptions?
you're always running away when we are smiling, and you're hardly ever there when we need you. why do you pass by so quickly during times of happiness; do you lack an affinity for fun? you escape us when we are enjoying life, and to be honest, i'd rather you didn't. why can't you stay a little longer when you are wanted? is there someplace you must go? even so, can't you just go later? i dislike your ability to fly; i deem it as unfair. why is it that you can fly whilst we humans are made to remain on land - i would like to fly too, at least that way i would have a slight chance of catching up to you.
it seems you enjoy mockery and this attitude may stem from the fact that you are indeed irreplaceable.
you stay when we want you to leave. our perception is that you purposely move slower during unfortunate circumstances, and that you prolong suffering for as long as you desire. and our perception of you is in fact your reality, so you cannot deny this as false. the medium with which your world and ours collides is the clock - but whenever we try to watch you, to urge you to hurry up, you seem to go slower than ever. it is frustrating. and we know you are doing it on purpose, because when we are not attentively and meticulously watching your every move, i.e. when we sleep, you do not bother us and flash by in a second. furthermore you seem to mingle with this entity called space a lot. you're essentially inseparable, and your teamwork is so mesmerizingly complex to us humans that our attempts to interfere in your relationship are futile despite our best efforts.
but i don't not like you - no, remember i did mention i was a fan.
although you are occasionally a hindrance, you're not all that unreasonable. sure you don't listen to our demands: 'slow down', even if we ask you nicely, with a cherry, no - make that a slurpee, on top (i dislike cherries, and a sweet substitute [pun intended] would be a slurpee, which is more delectable), but at least you are considerate enough to ensure that eternity does not really exist - especially during undesirable events. that being said, your everlasting existence generates a noticeable imbalance of power - you continue to exist whilst we age and pass away. i would normally complain about this, but you do not abuse your power, which is respectable. your use of your magical healing ability is admirable; magical in the sense that it heals that which modern medicine cannot - emotional wounds and feelings. it's appreciated.
i find that we need more and more of you each day but you keep on running away.
i suppose you can't help it; you are arguably busy. you are under constant scrupulous monitoring by everyone across the world - that cannot be easy. maybe you need a break. attached is a kitkat but it seems you have made it near impossible to contact you, so i'm not sure if this letter itself will be able to break the border between the dimensions in which our respective consciousnesses exist, let alone a bar of chocolate. i guess what i want to say is that you do bring up some concerns and although your attitude is questionable at times, your presence is deeply appreciated. we can't live without you, so i would like to put it out there: although we do not have much to offer you, it would be helpful if you could be nicer to us.
please slow down, with a slurpee on top.yours sincerely,
the human race. namely jon.
p.s. how do you survive on no sleep?
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